First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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