I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
