A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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