If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
