His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
