the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
