Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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