I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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