her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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