I'd wear matching sweaters with you
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
