we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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