I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just google imaged poop.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize