Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Don't make out with my wife yet
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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