Michael Bay diarrhea
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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