I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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