butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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