just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
