Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
