I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
