Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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