Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
