its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
