I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
As shirtless as possible
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
