New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
