also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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