I showed him my bush... on skype.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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