Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
