I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
