Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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