Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
