You can't special order awesome
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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