last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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