just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
