Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
