Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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