I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize