so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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