She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
They have beer where we have blood.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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