I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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