I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
i now understand why vodka
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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