it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
