upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
