there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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