White coat. Heels.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
