Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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