You can't motorboat a personality
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
