I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
