okay pat passed out under dana's car
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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