There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
not ubering you a puppy
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
