Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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