I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
