I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
