You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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