How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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