I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
God, I missed his penis.
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