I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize