Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I want to fling myself into the sun
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
