Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
