You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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