They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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