I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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