what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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