Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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