sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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